the newspaper reports that last weekend a local child was attacked in his sleep by a raccoon. the racoon tore through a screen door, through the cat door, past the kitchen (which contained open containers of garbage aka racoon gold), up the stairs and to the boy, where he lay sleeping in his parents’ bed. the boy had one leg dangling off, which the racoon clamped on to. his father tried to call the police and the racoon cut the phone cord. i’m just repeating what i read in the newspaper.
