what happened? wednesday i had to cook and my hair kept falling in my face so i went out to the driveway and cut it off (the hair, not the driveway). what did i cook? pancakes for dinner of course! thursday kpars arrived at my doorstep unannounced to delight, and i made her watch that freddie the freshman looney tunes i like so much. saturday we had pancakes with mel and played some pinball with cassi and gooned it over to radio shack with dad smith (but they didn’t have what i wanted). that night was the show at the spacement and walking over with kpars and cassi i thought i was going to throw up. do i need to say why? can i not say why going into that building made me so nervous? can i get by with saying that that was the building that changed my life, that changed my vision of what life was / should be? that, with the exception of that which i held inside me, i feel i let the wonders within slip casually through my fingers into nonbeing and in so doing significantly further the saddening of a sad city? is that ok? ok. i messed up a lot, which i guess some people think is endearing but it makes me mad and some people think i’m faking but i promise you i’m not. the real matt carroll got it on tape and i’m eager to watch. caramia says i swore more than she’s ever heard me swear. i don’t know, i guess it went pretty good. and the terribles rule.
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