i made a stuffed animal today but i kind of gave it away already. you’ll just have to take my word on it that i made it, because i did. and my word, well, i hope it’s good enough. it’s true, in the past, i’ve told some tall tales. one time me and jenine were driving by a frozen and snow-covered lake and i told her it was “cursed earth”, perfectly flat land that no vegetation would grow in nor animals walk on. one time arriving home with tim houston we told assembled parties on the lawn that we were at the store and the guy at the store had special advance trial packs of tangerine sour patch kids and he gave them to us and boy were they good (but actually we just bought soda and nothing particularly out of the ordinary happened). i frequently underreport the number of copies i make at the convenience store xerox machine. in sixth grade yearbook signing situations i told people i had no intention of keeping in touch with that we would “keep in in touch”. but this does not make of me a liar, gentle reader, nor does it indicate the valuelessness of my bond. dear friend and holiest of ghosts, i deeply feel that you and i have a relationship predicated on a certain trust and perhaps when i say “i made a stuffed animal today”, you may consider yourself internally justified in labeling that statement (for whatever it’s worth) “true”.
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