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gold-pressed latinum

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yesterday i heard two (2) enactments of the old “stranded w/o wallet” story, and even though i told myself i would no longer go for this scam, i ended up giving two bucks, and then 50 cents. in the first instance, i told myself later that i was buying his story, so here it is, as my story:

yesterday (or i guess two days ago actually), me and a friend drove from springfield to worcester for the purposes of drinking / partying. well, we had a couple bars, we got into a dispute, and he left me here, taking with him my wallet and all my money, IDs and credit cards, which i had left in the car during the whatever. i’m just trying to get back to springfield. i went to all the places, they couldn’t help me. i need $14.75, which is the full price of a bus ticket.

pretty decent, i like “we had a couple bars” (of what?), and i like setting up the current town as “the party town”, and i really like that “empty hand technique” of going out with no ties to anything. but really, whither the lost art of panhandling? remember when grisly dudes / scientist types used to sell their poems on the street? this happened twice to me growing up, and each time i was psyched. it’s such a good racket! a small investment in photocopies, and they’re stuck there captive while you read it and then afterwards, they feel obligated to buy it, before you sspring on them the cost of a buck or two each (which really isn’t that bad for a crazy story you can tell someone later and an artifact). i remember there was one guy with a brian chippendale haircut that sold astrological posters he made, but they weren’t as good as they could’ve been. not like there’s a lot of low-level street hustlers that read this (or any (?)) blog, but let’s raise the bar, folks! let’s be new gods for once!






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6 Comments »

  1. Crusty Tim reads this sometimes, and the terms hustler and street do apply. He panhandled down town recently with a sign: “out of work bank robber – need money for gun”. I think he got something like $30.

    danwars — May 10, 2008 @ 6:53 pm

  2. this happened to me AGAIN yesterday. but then later in the day some guy asked me for 15 cents and i gave him a quarter and he gave me ten cents back!

    jacob — May 10, 2008 @ 10:19 pm

  3. [...] Posted by “Jacob” on fujichia.com [...]


  4. [...] and in re: last friday and poetry, we sidled into gerardo’s bakery on pleasant (right downtown) and the guy tries to [...]


  5. when I was about 15 I dropped a quarter on the way to the bus and it is really hard to get a quarter from someone! Later that week, I found a ten dollar bill hanging out by itself on the street. Money is weird.

    elsa — May 19, 2008 @ 9:19 am

  6. this post got reprinted in the worcester magazine this week. pretty funny.

    jacob — May 23, 2008 @ 10:38 am

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