after hanging out in portland the next day we drove up to seattle, where the show wasn’t exactly bad, but it was not fun. the onion flavored rings were excited about the show, because in the past their seattle shows had been nuts- dancing and crowd surfing in a basement i couldn’t even stand up in. unfortunately in the time since their last show, that scene got together a more legit venue with plenty of elbow room, a real sound system, big stage, and paper wristbands. in a packed basement you’re kind of always getting jostled a little bit, and you’re already a little uncomfortable, you’re almost already dancing. this place was big enough that that did not happen, and the stage provided ample separation so you could just stand there in the crowd and text and (presumably) not feel like an asshole about it. to get a little philosophical, the place was comfortable enough that no one felt the thrill of something that might not last a long time. it wasn’t bad per se, just not fun. so, if a waste of time is bad, then it was bad. couldn’t find sibs (sorry sibs, when i tried to call i learned that i had only your old number!) so we drove to olympia right after the show.

people kept telling me that olympia was bleak, but i thought it was pretty nice. we walked around all day pointing at turds, and even got heckled by a panhandler who maybe thought he was closing our minds by yelling “hey nice uniforms”. but… they are nice uniforms! “regular” pants, plaid shirts, hooded sweatshirts. practical and solid. plaid shirts affirm our unity with mike watt. the show that night was in a basement, pretty fun. some college kids were there bragging about what they said to a cop when their fake IDs were confiscated, a wasted dude who turned out to be bikini bill was posi-heckling me the whole time with really supportive comments, we all had a good time. drove in the night back to portland, arriving at 4am. the terribles and the onion flavored rings left for SF the next morning, i stuck around Portland a few days before flying out. portland was nice, what do you want me to say? don’t worry i’m not moving there… but it was nice. good food everywhere, $3 burritos that were very good, mississippi records, a store that only sells lightbulbs… it was… nice.

back home safe and sound.

the west: i had never been west of the mississippi except once for ten minutes, so just like anything else i have never done, going to the west coast was something filled with small amounts of excitement and medium amounts of half dread half ambivalence. but then of course once the die was cast, the ticket bought etc., it was only excitement. i had a great time. i drank coffee and sprite on the plane- despite the fact that i’ve only been on airplanes a few times, and ditto hospitals, i feel like i only drink sprite in airplanes and hospitals. we sat behind a huge dude with a massive and completely nonambiguous nazi tattoo, and a covert KKK tattoo (“3-11″ whereas K is the 11th letter). we didn’t talk at all but i kept thinking about how dumb a nazi tattoo is- you’re aligning yourself with the famous loser of a world war? led by an impotent coprophilic art school dropout? even for a bully it’s a weird move.

SF: we flew into san francisco and took an $8 subway (!) into the city, specifically the mission, where we immediately got burritos, which were totally delicious, cheap, plentiful, and bountiful. then we walked to arwen’s house to help her celebrate her birthday. we finally crashed out at 2am, which was like 5am to us, but since the air travel was mentally exhausting and physically stagnant, we were totally fine in the morning, everything was fine. we walked around all day. i found the mission to be pleasant, with lots of great trees and handpainted signwork. the show was in oakland at carolynn’s house, totally fun. alabaster choad is sy’s band, sy who does “baitline” newspaper and the incredible “anything goes [anywhere]” comic “those fucking unicorns”. band is good. Kreamy ‘Lectric Santa was psyyyyyyyyych, and i think they’ve been a band for like 20 years? i liked them. then duh we played and onion flavored rings. kyle the girl was there, plus willy shakes and danielle, opie, ivy, CJ, lil spat, carolynn, arwen. good crowd, good show, cool house. i had a ice cream bar called a “it’s it”, and i enjoyed it. slept over at ivy’s and we were loud coming in and annoyed her roomates. sorry ivy, roomates!

Portland: took a whole day to drive there without stopping much, except at some food co-op well north where there were plenty of street wizards and young dready kilted whites. why more in this sleepy town than in SF? i asked erick who told me: good weed + shakespeare festival. got to portland at night and stayed with the social graces, met up with cool breeze and esther next morning. portland is nice, but take this however you want- everything is very easy there.

more tomorrow, i’m running out the door to see jessica rylan!!!

i enabled the thing to let me update from the phone, so… if you want messages from tour stops, see the twitter.

another reason i’ve been running ragged is that next week my powerful rock band jacob the terrible is accompanying our friends the onion flavoured rings on a west coast tour. it all sort of came out of nowhere. i have rot13ed the addresses for spider reasons. if anyone from seattle or olympia reads this, let me know if you need better directions.

- Wednesday Oct 13 Oakland, CA at 1935 Yvaqra Ubhfr w/ Kreamy Lectric Santa, Alebastaire Choad (Sy’s band)
- Friday Oct 15 Portland, OR at Fukett’s (5518 A. Zvffvffvccv) w/ Defect Defect, Social Graces
- Saturday Oct 16 Seattle, WA at Gur Zbethr in Georgetown w/ Reckless and The Mark Sparkles
- Sunday Oct 17 Olympia, WA at The Erq Ubhfr w/ Human Skab, Deadhead

we will have a demo recording available strictly for the tour. i’m not all the way excited about the recording- hopefully someone will see us, get excited, get the cd, realize that the cd doesn’t adequately convey the feelings and/or emotions, and that person has a label that puts the better recorded version of the songs out, or at least the 7″ single of “what i love about you i hate about myself”. let’s just say what we want.

whoaaaa…. i stayed up all night working on the October issue of Mothers News, which is only a week late, and which, this month only, is Monsters News. lots on the plate here. our own Nicky Revs said the other day “obviously the newspaper is totally your thing, exactly the sort of thing that you would do, but the Halloween issue is like the ‘your thing’ of that”. in keeping with my desire for “realness only”, it isn’t about Halloween in a schlocky or cute or goofy or nostalgic way, it’s… pretty ghoulish. I’m psyched, but also kind of creeped out! another factor that plays up the fuckededness of the writing and design in this issue is that i sold a ton of ads, to the point where I almost ran out of room. so in an effort to prove to myself that i’m not controlled by opinion or advertising money (or more to the point, that whenever i don’t care i’m at my best), i double didn’t tone down. it’s my life…

now it’s 6pm the next day and i’m just getting my head together… went to bed at 10am.