i’m on another episode of the snow ghost community show, discussing my opinions on art (and everything) in worcester. i’ll cut you to the end, where i say something i think about a lot in a way i’ve never said before: “anything can grow in a garden– who cares?”. also i call everyone with pretentions of being a fine artist in worcester “a chump”. it’ll be great when that bites me in the ass. i’m trying to not look at the camera dead-on, in keeping with my decision to be 3/4 as much as possible.

today i went to the beach, which was great, but i didn’t eat all day and then at 7:30 got really really grouchy. earlier i passed to will and danielle the meme “D.W-P.O.M.F-B.”, a weird mishearing so psychologically damaging i can’t even write it on the internet.

september looks like it may be money month for me, with lots of small scams (aka jobs) for me to run– chiefly silk screening at RISD and the start on the street street fair. there’s more but i don’t want to ruin it. anyway, also bumping this [next] month is a big installation at the new as220 “mercantile block” space in providence. and this is big, like 20 foot ceilings, nigh-unlimited floor space. since it’s a really great opportunity for me, i’m doing that thing i like to do- something i’ve never done and have no skills at and haven’t really thought out supergreat. tentative title “my life 08″. oh, and i got the ask on the virtue of a couple snappy mass emails, nothing else. this is good, but “nothing else”? why not do the unthinkable and just write letters all day? no more nothing! anyway i’m trying to get two weeks off from my troubles to work on the bastard on site, but that may be unfeasible. but it would be fun, and as close to a vacation as i’ll ever get, it seems.

last night it was a little chilly, and get dark earlier than i had expected. today i realized that it was going to get really cold again, and in not a very long time. i’m strategizing for what will surely be, without adequate strategy, a really really rough winter.

here are my current best plans:

and

you know when it’s hot all day and then it rains way hard and it’s awesome but you say well, it’s awesome but i’m happy i’m not out there and then you’re like wait, am i? and then you’re like no? that happened the other day but by the time i had emptied my pockets of everything ruinable (everything except soda money and keys) the rain had really let up to a degree that a mythical regular person would enjoy walking in and stubborn in my resolve i walked a really long way away from my point of departure until it hammered down again and mission accomplished. it was cool, i used to walk late at night a lot, this was like that except it didn’t make me depressed. i walked all the way to the 7 11 near my old house for a suicide soda, which i’m sure helped to elevate the mood, although also someone told me about ionizing properties of falling droplets of water that cause your feelings to better but now that i write it down and look at it, that seems like pretty bogue science. ok, maybe it’s just this, which we all know: there’s a certain flavor of “dumb + confusing + valueless” fun that, when realized, is a fine draught of amiable meaninglessness.

and sspeaking of no-wrong-answerhood, last night’s incisor / tinsel teeth / nadir show was a ripper with lots of fake blood and white clothing and masks and nice dresses. mike’s new pedal pooped out so even though we practiced a hundred times (aka 4 times) the universe conspired once again to sound us like ten eggs in a box in a swamp, WHICH IS FINE. nadir has a 7″ out, which rules, and it’s two different genres if you play it on 45 (as intended) or 33 1/3. tinsel teeth was good although it’s awkward to watch someone’s unpicked wedgie.

sold more t shirts to the comic book store, so even though i’m pretty strapped for cash, i got some awesome comics (utilizing the player’s discount that is “payment in trade”). i got 2 paperbacks of old family circus (”PEACE, MOMMY, PEACE!” (1969) and “WANNA BE SMILED AT?” (1970)), 2 issues of jack kirby’s 2001 comic, and the new fantagraphics book of the comics of lyonel feininger. the family circus books are really good– better design than later ones and the jokes seem less trite maybe, or you maybe you think they’re more “classic” or whatever; the 2001 comics are pretty nuts– a ten issue series filling in the gaps between the apes and the spacemen in batshit kirby style; the feininger stuff is, duh, awesome. i’ll try to do a full review once i digest a little.

a piece of the post-birthday blues and on top of everything, it’s hot out, like, will-evaporatingly hot. yesterday i think it was the low air quality ssomeone heard about on the news that gave me an all-day headache because it wasn’t not eating or not drinking enough water or not taking a little nap or not talking to my friends or not being outside or not drinking enough coffee or not wearing a lemon yellow t-shirt. there was a show last night but i had to excuse myself to not be in a throbbing environment and take some advil and watch a marx brothers movie. it was nice.

lots of talk and thought in the past few days on the character of zeppo, who just might’ve been as they say, “the funniest one in real life”, in a way that didn’t translate to screen. also, zeppo as the bridge between the three primaries and the rest of the world, or as interpreter, but in any event, zeppo, despite all his qualities, being outside the magic. i guess there isn’t really much to say, i guess the question is: is there a lesson?

dag, it is hot outside! what’s up with that?

the barbeque yesterday was really fun: lots of folks, lots of food, music and dancing, and wrassling, and getting muddy. billy blue played what he said might be his last worcester show, being as he’s moving to portland oregon, and we wish him all the best. terribles played their long-awaited cd release show, for the new joint “in congre∫s”. the terribles take turns in designing album art, this time it was matt carroll’s go, and he chose to make it look the title page of common sense: “Of the SYNCOPATION and HARMONY of Mu∫ickal in∫truments in general, with con∫ise Remarks on the A∫pects of Righteou∫ne∫s.” etc.. and of course it’s matt carroll, so *everything* is *perfect*. well done gentlemen.

the party was in the backyard of billy’s house and no one called the cops, and it rained a bit on three occasions throughout the night but nothing got ruined and that includes no one getting electrocuted. AND, in addition to this ssummer being “summer of worcester (again / still)” and “summer of having love” and somewhat inexplicably “summer of hand-whittled zippers”, it was also decided that this would be “platinum summer”, so pars whipped out the bleach and many got did, including yours truly. also, it was the first genuinely hot day of the year, so there was a lot of leg showing all around– a lot of fresh, weird, frog-belly leg.

all this week i’ll be bleaching my hair over and over again, until it looks like my head is made of pure cocaine.

today was a crafts fair in the park, which was good and i did OK, and more than that i had a fun time talking fast and counting coup with passers by and those i just walked right up to. i bought a bunch of tiny glass elephants and some soap that smells like oatmeal cookies, the idea being that i would start to smell like cookies and subconsciously you would connect the smell of cookies to me, and then when you made cookies you would think to yourself or someone nearby “you know who i should call?…”. pretty devious on a few fronts really. pictured above is ashling’s arm, she got a cool sunburn which you can well imagine. see also: heavy reppin’ (with pogo), a laffy lady (with dark clouds (that flew by really fast with no static)).

yesterday there was a lot going on, but i didn’t go to the bone zone show, i went to the noise show at the firehouse, which was as advertised but shirt quitters didn’t play. chris cooper (angst hase pfeffer nase) destroyed it with a classic table top guitar set on the ground, and i filmed it and already put it up on the internet. there was almost no one there that didn’t live there, which was a bummer, but the lesson is “book a local draw”. i gave them all the money i had, and was glad to do it: a big change jar, with a lot of quarters in it, except for $1.50, which i got a coffee with later (although the diner didn’t charge for the coffee). i told george washington myers that i would say something about him on the internet so here goes: hi george!

tonight i went to a show that jenine played, at the go go. also matt f and a touring act called led to sea, which was good songwriting over violin with phrase samplers, outside by the fire, real nice. tomorrow i catch up on some bullshit, start some new bullshit. bed!

north ham town was quite ablossom with those tiny white flowers that smell like sexual discharge. the rest of the weekend was nice too. it was the first of two weekends of performances of this play that me and purtle are in, “go to the chateau”, and we were all ready, and everything went splendid. extracurricular activities were slim, as most of our energy went towards the four shows daily, but we’ve been very much enjoying the company of our fellow actors and actresses, as they are fine people and the meta-enjoyment comes from our great enjoyment of desert island scenarios like these in which we befriend people we otherwise would not have met. in this instance it’s particularly heightened, due to the fact that we have staged emotional (but nonetheless emotional) encounters with every person a few times a day. this weekend we hung out a ton with merc, a petite and subtle goof who first arrived in our lives wearing extremely high-waisted pants, and in the play wears a yellow jumpsuit that makes her look more than a bit like a piece in a children’s game, or a contestant on a nickelodeon game show. as noted earlier, the play happens mostly in a moving car for an audience of 2 people, and scenes are set short drives away from each other. merc’s not in our scene but she meets us at the car when the scene is over and together we scramble to the finale for our bows, then back to the house to set up again. since there’s no way for us to see the parts of the play we’re not in, we don’t know exactly what happens in merc’s scene, but it involves a tearful and emotional exit, following which she has to hoof to us on busy streets in as mentioned preposterous attire, all of which is like cult strategy to altered states and mind-attunement to goof-off frequency, making these jaunts to and fro super-enjoyable. me and mike also played basketball, and in keeping with the motif of the past few weeks, gloried in our roles as “scumbags”.

back in worcester now, trying to bust out a ton of silk screen jobs including shirts of my own design for workdeath (whose tape “le corbusier”, available at the link, is pretty much perfect). it’s raining today, which is good for the trees, which in worcester are full of those little green kix that fall and fill up certain sidewalks, plus fine pinks here and there. i walked around a lot on errands today, i got wet.

friday there was an art opening for mike t at HBML, and both the show and the set up ruled. the show is a lot of new prints and drawings, plus a limited edition cereal that mike made special for HBML, with a cool 4-color silkscreened box, and inside, actual breakfast. the set up was kicking it all day with mike t, chip, nathan, and ML. it was a beautiful day, the bench saw a lot of action. lots of awesome folks came out for the show itself, it ruled. afterwards there was a three-stage attack on duck yao, which culminated in all of us at one long thanksgiving-style table, shoveling taoist eats into our stinky mouths. perfection!

saturday me and purtle drove to north ham town for another weekend of play rehearsals, which was once again really really fun. last week we pretty much just hung out with madeline and gossiped, this week we got to explore the town a little more, we went to the skatepark (which is pretty good), hung out with josh TC, played some handball, and on top of that, we hung out with madeline and gossiped (which is fun). the play is going great and me and mike discovered that with all this monkey time (and a sort of carte blanche for hyjinx) we’re developing a practically marxian confidence, with minds less quieted than flowy. sure there will always be those times in the preposterously expensive ice cream shop with magnificent yoga instructor where you find yourself describing the cover art for munchie, in which a leather-jacketed hitler puppet surfs a pizza over loni anderson, and your mind is telling your brain “shutupshutupshutup” and your brain isn’t telling your mouth. but that’s why weeks have next weeks, RITE?!!?

incidentally handball is really fun, we’ve got to get a crowtown session burning. oh, and next weekend the play begins for real, with actual strangers that i spit on a little bit. oh, and i half-secured a ride for this wednesday’s show in turner’s falls, so eat it!

picture above from daily panel, which is still turning.

yesterday it was so beautiful and today it’s even more beautiful still, weatherwise. i’ve been eating a lot- miso soup, spinach sandwiches, broccoli and tempeh with ginger, green tea. yesterday i did that thing i like to do– hang out for a long time on street corners with amazing looking people. in this instance it was two women who looked like spiders from mars, to use a loaded term. i’ve been setting up my new room, which is going great. tomorrow i’m going to get paint, not because i especially dislike the current color (a sort of peach) but because i need to ruin things.

friday i had so much fun that all-day saturday i had a fun hangover. and no drinking (except a few sips of champagne), just lots of fun, which caused me, the next day, to be a little bit slow and a teeny bit bummed and just generally “the next day”.

the day (friday) started off pretty bogue, messing up a silkscreen over and over, as noted earlier. then i met up with my western mass connection and drove to the store, went to donkey dog nuts and got coffee, and from there everything pretty much took off. josh’s show was (and is) really great, and he made a gorgeous zine / catalog, with lots of drawings from the show and lots of other stuff too. really really awesome. at one point we got really hungry and wanted quan yin, so we just called up and ordered “three good meals”, which worked out pretty good, despite QY being closed, and our call getting rerouted to the buddha hut (which as mentioned is inferior for all applications that don’t involve sketched-out parents). good turnout at the show, and mariah pariah brought a silver tray of cookies, regular and girl scout (thanks mariah!). after closing, my northampton pals drove home to see black pus, grey skull, and fat worm of error (which was in josh’s house). i wanted to go but i would have had no ride home, so i opted out. donny said the show went good and the boredoms were in the crowd, which is pretty epic, and i feel a mild pang for having missed it, the boredoms being my favorite band for a period of three years (and grey skull being awesome). nonetheless i feel i made the right move, going instead to the punk show– apeshit, CFL, dungeoneers and more at the wheelchair.

at past shows at the wheelchair, as perhaps astute readers may have gleaned, i felt like quite the sore thumb, being as a matter of course older (for the most part), soberer (with some exceptions), and not in the perceived uniform. ok, so this is pretty much all in my mind, but friday, while i sure didn’t blend or melt, i realized that sometimes a salad only has one or two croutons, and no part is not not-part-of-the-salad. RITE? so i got my head in the proper place, and as the night went on, i felt more and more in heaven, or rather, on the earth of shared creation: ML completely shredding the ramp with a wig on the whole night; me, dancing hard in a fred astaire vein hand in hand with a beautiful rogue ginger rogers, buffeted in waves of soggy t-shirts and greasy moptops. at one point the afore-mentioned champagne bottle rolled off a ramp and stood spinning on it’s side in a crowd that immediately formed a circle. the bottle slowly slowed and stopped, two sweaty lads embraced. i always cry at weddings.

ON DANCING:
i was at dinner with my mother not a month ago, talking about the sort of shows i go to and the show my aunt’s neighbor went to at the palladium where his jaw got broken. i made the case that violent dancing can be a display of aggression, and an extension of fighting, or it can be a display of affection, and an extension of hugging, and i only attend instances of the latter. this is a good way to frame it if the discussion ever comes up, but there are times (and they are the best times) when crazy dancing- fast, reckless, with equal parts abandon and trust- is neither display nor extension, but everything rolled up at once. we’re careening into flowing robes territory now, but you know: times when you realize you’re not just in the world, you are the world. on that mississippi john hurt album that pars likes (and that i like) there’s a great song about dancing crazy, and he sing/says: “i’ll be there and you’ll be there, and i’ll meet you in the soup, and we’ll get all mixed up”. that’s it!

ALSO:
apeshit played an impromptu set and even though we don’t really know each other so good it was great to see circle pat again. pat will mosh at a single dropped hat– when he sees a mike & ike on the ground, or when he finds out that a small pizza is $2 on tuesday, and it’s tuesday.

ALSO:
as i was leaving, getting my stuff, which i stashed behind a moldy loveseat, the meaty fellow displaced by actions said “get a load of this nerd”. well the girls he was trying to build himself up to were none other than those excellent warhol-looking teens and they sure tore in– “that’s jacob- he runs HBML and he rules etc.”. well, you could have knocked me over with a feather! i set out alone into the night, with big lazy snow sparsely falling, singing, almost keeping pace with a train gliding silently towards the yard.

weird snow bursts notwithstanding, it’s spring sure enough. oh, also the auction of the shop got delayed until may 1, so i figure we’re set for at least the summer through.

the silk screening thing went great the other day, it always goes great. actually, it keeps getting better and better, second law of thermodynamics notwithstanding. people always want the print after the day of the print, and i always want to be a jerk about it, but i think from now on i’m going to print up a few extra shirts and then just charge a lot for them (or, print more than just the printing charge). after the thing was a show at mr worcester, which was fun, and a pretty predictable mess.

i don’t know so much about punk genres in the year 2008, but the last show was more ecstatic and this show was more angry / aimless, so needless to say, i had more fun dancing at the last show. still, there were a ton of people there, and i had fun just hanging out. nicky revs had this gooey chocolate desert in his car and i walked around the show giving people bites, and it’s age-old wisdom about the way to some people’s hearts but it’s true. dan wars and crusty tim and a bunch of other boston heads were there, to report “worcester is really weird” and tell me over and over again about how awesome the cover of the flash #186 is (dan- see dead flash cover gallery). lots of beautiful people, a few knuckleheads. i left before the end (which is my M.O. at these events, to keep my memories beautiful) and walked around a bit, a nice quiet night for it, and warm. i found a little LED flashlight in the street, and then i stopped in to see gentle dan at nick’s bar, and casey gave me two flashing LED bracelets. if sheryl ann was home i would’ve wrapped them around the spokes of her bike, but she’s still in either denmark, north carolina, or scotland (while i’m wasting away to nothing for lack of donut-eating companions). oh yeah, dan, i watched that video of the record spinning around. i love the song, i love the format.

the past few days i’ve been working on a few new things for the shop. some new fujichia action figures (the “information series”), plus restocks of “Li’l Bendy” personal noisepals and “FIELD REPORT” hermeneutic game cards. oh, and i made those iron maiden shirts, based on the “killers” cover, but with a dripping ice cream cone instead of a dripping hatchet. after the fact, i realized two things about the shirt. the first is that this is sort of a big daddy roth tribute– later in his life he edited the violent content out of earlier drawings, replacing knives with ice cream cones. the second thing is that without the presence of the hatchet, the hand gripping eddie’s shirt looks like it belings less to someone getting slaughtered than someone on the giving end of a blowjob. but really, would you rather your children see a person getting killed or a person having oral sex with an unhuman ghoul while the ghoul eats an ice cream cone?

i’ve been watching joseph campbell’s power of myth, and reading jack kirby’s complete fourth world (both of which i downloaded illegally). i’ve been drinking coffee every three days or so. i’ve been doing physical, mental, and spiritual exercises. sometimes i feel like a slob, and never do i feel like a machine, but always i feel like a person in the world.

it’s been so nice out lately, and i’ve been in fine spirits, and not just because of the weather but because things just been lining up. wednesday walking around in my shirt sleeves, doing errands with billy blue, getting a security deposit back from a previous landlord and immediately cashing the check, paying outstanding fines at the library, then i even tried my luck at the used bookstore and found a $10 copy of harry stephen keeler’s “sing sing nights” ($125 on amazon)! awesomme. then i got a ride with chris dooley to boston to see terribles and bone zone at the milky way in JP. it ruuled. dano was really insistent on lots of worcesters making it to the show to up the party vibe, so we did and it was. lots of dancing and carrying on in the fashion (which is, in boston anyway, apparently out of fashion). MZ got on the mic during the terribles set- “we’re from worcester. we have this much fun every night, every place we go.”. more than half of the people going crazy were ladies, having tons of fun and wall-of-deathing arm-folders. kevin posted some video here, but, oh, well, you’ll figure it out.

today was still beautiful, i walked around a lot again, did more errands, got some shit done. i’m not totally “killin’ it”, but i am definitely “digging the grave”.